ohb

babies are the new black

I kind of cheated with the last entry and back dated it a day as I had wanted to write it yesterday but was too tired. I was going to have a party yesterday, to try and fool myself into thinking that I do in fact have a social life. However on Friday one of the girls who works at ABC said it was her birthday on Saturday and that she was going to have a party in the school. I was like grand so as to be honest though it may have been a bit of a laugh I didn't really want to face the clean up again, one of the perils of living alone, they all go home eventually and its just you and the mess. And I unexpectedly ended up going out for a drink on Friday night, it almost felt like the real world, going for a drink and a chat at the end of the working week. Though typically the one time I don't come straight home from work, there actually is news waiting for me.
So when I did manage to check my email, with a slightly drunk Mesha, marooned in my apartment I discovered that I was an auntie yet again. Another little boy who will have to endure crap home made presents and see me as the slightly weird aunt, but hopefully they'll get over it, eventually. It was a very strange feeling, I felt so estranged from everyone and just wanted to see Niamh and tell her how proud of her I am. Technology though it obviously enables greater communication, detracts from the message so much and it is strange to read such a life changing event in a few lines of type on a computer screen. having said that I remember standing in the queue at Heuston, trying to buy a ticket to Cork, when I heard about Fionn. The speaker on my phone had given up the ghost ( due to some unfortunate events at a party in Linda Brownlee's, Thomas I think you'll remember the details) and so I was unable to receive calls.
I remember being so excited on the train I just couldn't keep it in and telling this girl who was sitting across from me. It was such a strange day, I got a taxi to the hospital, but they wouldn't let me in until three o'clock, and I ended up standing outside smoking with this real Cork City man who's daughter had just had a baby. When the woman from reception wasn't looking we both sneaked in trying to look as if we knew where we were going. I found Niamh and, stop reading now if you're anyway squeamish, she looked so pale and weak and would stop talking every few seconds to vomit into this little metal dish, but beneath it all you could see the pure joy in her eyes. It was such a strange day, looking at this little thing and knowing that it was Niamh's (and Bryan's obviously) but I experienced such an overwhelming feeling and finally understood what people describe as unconditional love. Niamh wasn't quite as euphoric when she discovered that the discomfort she was feeling stemmed from the fact that I was leaning on her catheter tube, she laughs about it now (sometimes).
The weirdest thing was that I met the girl from the train on my way back down from the hospital, I mean I know Cork is small but....I had taken some polaroids and so there were strangers looking at Fionn before his grandparents got to see him. Diane was driving to CTB from Cork and I'd say I didn't shut up all the way down, which was probably just as well as Di hadn't been driving all that long and would freak us out by turning round to talk to us, while driving.
Hard to believe its more than two years ago now and that Mom and Dad are truly 'Nana' and 'Granddad' -no turning back now.

posted by orlagh @ 4:03 pm